Running back to Saskatoon
I have travelled to many countries, have lived in a few, and I have just bought a house in another continent where I will live half time. I am in the process of learning a new language and building relationships in the new culture so that I can fit into that community. Moving forward and integrating to a new culture is fairly easy for me as I have lots of experience being a guest in another country and building new relationships.
This weekend I went to my 35th high school reunion in my hometown, Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. I left there in 1987 and have only returned four times. My father and a few brothers come to Vancouver quite frequently so I don’t really have too much reason to go back to my hometown. However, some synchronistic events happened with a few good friends who asked me to come back to Saskatoon for my high school reunion, so I went.
I was surprised at how nervous I was and how much emotional processing happened for me a week before going back. Memories of past events came up and at one point I decided I didn’t want to go back. I have changed a lot in the past few years. I talk about things in my circle of friends that are taboo in what I call “consensus reality”. I have had many mystical experiences where I have seen beyond the third dimension. I experience “knowings” and follow them and they often lead to very unusual and wonderful events. Sometimes I see things that I know others don’t, and experience things that are so improbable that it changes my worldview. I am convinced that I am a spiritual being living in a human body.
Some time ago, I devoted my life to the positive evolution of humanity. I care more about my future grandchildren and the trajectory of the millennials on the planet than I do about asset accumulation, death and being part of the “status quo”. As a result, I have devoted my life being in “service to others” with a focus on seeing the human species evolve into a collective that works for the masses and not just the elite ranks. As I grow in finding ways to be in service to others, my ability to see, know and experience things beyond the five senses grows. I often work when others sleep or have down time. I am passionate about making sure that those that I am in some way responsible for, or have had advantages over, are not negatively impacted by my actions. I want to stop the downward spiral of self-doubt, lack of self-awareness and increase our collective ability to have difficult conversations so that more of us are empowered to help out with transitioning our planet to a more positive trajectory (economy, ecosystem regeneration, higher spiritual goals, and a higher sense of community belonging).
First, I had to face my own fears about going home. I knew that I really had to work on blending in and deflecting the attention to others so that I could find some common thread we could talk about. I needed to belong again into my hometown, and I also needed to be true to my authentic self. I had to repair any relationships that were not functioning at an optimum level. It is cosmically ironic that I was going back to the “city of bridges” and was primarily focused on “repairing bridges” with people I have known a long time. I am returning in August to give a speech on a topic that is currently somewhat taboo. There is little room to fail on this speech as I do not want to embarrass myself in that talk, hence getting support and understanding the minds of the people in that city was important.
In childhood, I saw the guys in orange togas with shaved heads and thought they were weirdos to be avoided at all costs. I still see people standing on corners all dressed up with religious magazines in their hand and I really don’t believe they are having much impact with their time and energy. I recall having people knock at my door to try and “save me” and hiding in the house and turning the lights off so that I didn’t have to answer the door. In some ways, my devotion to my worldview is just as strong. However, I don’t think it’s a wise strategy to influence people that way. I would rather lead by example, blend in and quietly do my work expanding the conversation. I’m not here to force anyone to change belief systems. I think the world would be a much better place if some of the topics considered taboo were talked about more openly and compassionately (sex, race, gender, religion, politics and money for a start) but I am only in charge of my own karma and mission and not everyone else’s. My duty is merely to plant seeds and keep focused on my mission with joy in my heart.
I’m glad to report that the trip was a glowing success. Many relationships were repaired, old connections were renewed and many have a better awareness of how their childhood shaped their current worldview. I was inspired to write this..
We were innocent deer
With headlights flashing in our eyes
Wanting to belong at any cost
Not knowing anything more
Than parent teaching, scars and rumours
Making our way
Uniting for bell bottoms
And against Wrangler jeans
What did we know?
We carried on thinking
We knew it all…
The world was either for us or against us
And many shades in between..
How far we have come
From such fertile seeds of wheat